The Best Is Yet To Come
by ChameleonCircuit
Summary: Barba's eyes met his across the table, a soft look setting in as he took a large gulp from his drink, and Sonny felt his stomach flutter briefly. It was a look he thought he'd caught in passing, but whenever he tried to find it, it had already gone, leaving him to wonder if it had ever really been there in the first place. And yet there it was, plain as day.


It had been a long day. A long week, really. But then, when weren't they? Still, this case had been tough, and for weeks the haunting, sad, dead faces of the children they had failed to save were glued to his eyelids, silently pleading with him as he tried to sleep, which naturally meant that sleep had been a rarity for the duration of the case. Even now, child killers behind bars and awaiting trial, the last four missing kids all safe at home with their parents, he could see the dead faces of the ones they couldn't save. Even here, in a bar, half way to drunk with the family he'd been welcomed into like no other before, he couldn't shake them - not completely.

"Another for the birthday boy!" Rollins shouted, planting another drink down in front of Barba.

Sonny smiled slightly as he watched Barba try to scowl at the infantile term, but he knew that a) Barba didn't really mind, and b) he was too drunk to kick up a fuss, even if he'd wanted to.

Barba's eyes met his across the table, a soft look setting in as he took a large gulp from his drink, and Sonny felt his stomach flutter briefly. It was a look he thought he'd caught in passing, but whenever he tried to find it, it had already gone, leaving him to wonder if it had ever really been there in the first place. And yet there it was, plain as day, and Sonny felt his shoulders relax as he looked into those calming, gentle green eyes.

A hand rested on his shoulder, causing him to start, his muscles tensing once more. He glanced up, seeing the Lieu's eyes also on Barba, and he felt his cheeks burn as he realised the look on Barba's face was intended for her, not him.

"How you holding up?" She asked softly, her mouth close to his ear so she wouldn't have to raise her voice over the growing noise in the pub.

Sonny glanced up at her and gave the hand on her shoulder a squeeze.

"I'm alright."

"You did good, Carisi. I know it's easy to lose sight of that when you can't save everyone. But you did good."

He felt his throat constrict slightly as he forced a smile on his face, which probably looked more like a grimace than anything. He squeezed her hand again, not trusting himself with words, as he took a swig from his beer, eyes settling back in Barba's direction for something else to look at.

Only, Barba wasn't there anymore. Neither were Fin or Amanda. He could see Rita Calhoun sliding off her chair, an uncharacteristic shriek of laughter leaving her mouth as she did so, and his eyes followed her to where Fin and Amanda were pushing a very drunk Barba up onto the makeshift stage in the corner where people had been singing bad karaoke all evening.

He felt his mouth quirk up in a genuine smile, for what felt like the first time in weeks, as he watched the normally stoic ADA flounder on stage as a microphone was pushed into his hand. Sonny thought he looked partially eager, partially embarrassed, and entirely unlike himself in the most beautiful way possible.

He sighed and shook his head as he watched Barba flash the Lieu another look, bordering on mischievous.

He'd never seen Barba so loose and carefree - it was more than he had ever imagined (and he had imagined many times). He looked happy and relaxed and soft, and so at so at odds with the way that Sonny himself felt that it almost seemed like a dream. But maybe that was the alcohol-induced buzz in his head talking.

He heard the piano start, snorting into his beer as Barba ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up a little.

"Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum."

Sonny thought he sounded borderline nervous as the first words came out, and when he glanced up, Barba had that mischievous grin on his face before he laughed his way into the next line.

As the music picked up, Barba's head dropped slightly and Sonny could have sworn he was making eye contact with him again as his eyes came up, head still slightly bowed. He felt his mouth go dry, because damn, if he'd found Barba attractive before, it was nothing compared to what he was seeing now.

He caught Amanda's eye, her face the perfect image of delighted shock. To her side, Fin was grinning from ear to ear, Rita holding onto his arm, shouting "I told you!" on repeat.

" _Did you know he could sing?"_ Amanda asked silently with a nod of her head in Barba's direction and a questioning twitch of her eyebrows, and Sonny shook his head, glancing at the Lieu, who looked more pleased than anything else.

" _Bet she knew,"_ he responded in kind, with a tilt of his head in the Lieu's direction, followed by an eye roll.

Amanda smiled at him, a knowing glint in her eye though he wasn't sure why, before she returned her attention to Barba.

"Wait till the warm ups underway, wait till our lips have met."

Sonny noticed Barba was still looking at him, a smirk playing on his lips as he sung, and he felt his cheeks grow hot. He knew he was imagining the flicker of desire he saw there, just as he'd been imagining soft looks from Barba at work for the past year.

"The best is yet to come, come the day you're mine. Oh, come the day you're mine."

The whole bar erupted in cheers as Barba growled the next few lines out. And that's the only way Sonny could describe it - a growl - and it sent a jolt through his stomach, causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

He was distantly aware of Amanda, Fin and Rita whooping at the side of the stage, and even Dodds let out an appreciative "wow!" as Barba continued singing, commanding attention from everyone in the bar. He had to force himself to take a sip of beer, to give him someplace else to look.

He could feel Barba's eyes on him again, and glanced at Rollins by way of confirming without actually meeting his gaze. He was beginning to wonder if Barba could read his mind, with the intensity that he felt his stare.

"Wait till you're locked in my embrace, wait till I draw you near."

Sonny glanced at the Lieu, who was shaking her head, laughing into her drink, and he was tempted to nudge her, ask her what was so funny, anything to stop his mind whirring the way it was.

"Come the day you're mine, I got plans for you, baby. And, baby, you're gonna fly."

Everyone was cheering, clapping, but Sonny couldn't make his limbs move as he met Barba's eyes at last. He could have sworn he saw lust, plain and clear, before Barba was whisked off stage by Rita, who was clearly just as drunk as him, judging by the sloppy kiss she placed on his cheek.

Downing the rest of his drink, Sonny suddenly found the will to move, and jumped up from his stool, grabbing his coat.

"I'm gonna head - long day," he said into the Lieu's ear, patting her shoulder as he beelined for the door.

The cool air hit him as he stepped outside, and he shook his head, trying to clear it. He wandered down the street a little before stopping to lean against a signpost, his head spinning. His mind was whirring and buzzing between images of the imagined looks from Barba and the sad faces of the kids he couldn't save, and he thought, for a moment, that he might throw up.

A hand on his shoulder startled him from his racing thoughts. He spun around, his breath coming too fast, and found himself face to face with Barba, hair still sticking up at odd angles, his eyes heavy and glowing with alcohol.

Barba's grin slowly fell, his eyes losing their spark as he took a step back from Sonny, eyes raking up and down his tall frame before resting on his face again, a look of understanding settling there. Sonny swallowed past his discomfort and opted for a smile, forcing his breathing back to normal.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to rush out on your birthday celebrations… it's just…"

"It's okay," Barba cut him off, stepping a little closer again, so he was out of the way of other pedestrians. "I didn't chase you out here to drag you back in, or demand explanation. I'm actually heading home myself."

Sonny's lips quirked a little at the sound of Barba trying - and failing - to sound sober, choosing all the right words, yet slurring them slightly too loud.

"Really? Even with free drinks flowing? The night is young, Counselor."

Barba snorted, rolling his eyes, as though what he'd just been doing was beneath him.

"You never mentioned you could sing," he piped up, shoving his hands in his pockets in an attempt to look at ease.

"You never asked," Barba countered, smirking slightly before tucking his chin further into his scarf, forcing him to look up at Sonny through his lashes.

He felt a pang somewhere in his chest, and he inched backwards, nearly stepping off the sidewalk and into the gutter. Barba's hand shot out to stop him, resting gently on his forearm, and the touch felt electric.

"We could share an Uber," Barba said quietly, gesturing to the car that was pulling up.

Sonny nodded as Barba circled him to open the car door, climbing into the back seat. He followed mutely, his heart pounding so fiercely in his chest that he thought Barba must be able to hear it.

"You okay?" Barba asked, sounding half asleep, barely lifting his head from the window to glance in his direction.

Sonny nodded, freezing when he felt Barba's hand come into contact with his own, stilling the drumming of his fingers against the leather seat between them, a movement he hadn't even known he'd been doing.

"Mmmkay," Barba practically hummed, keeping a hold of his hand after his eyes had dropped shut.

Sonny took a moment to watch the steady rise and fall of Barba's chest as he breathed. Barba's cheeks were flushed warm from the alcohol, but his nose and ears were bitten pink from the cold air outside. His lips were quirked into a pleased, soft little smile, and he thought about pressing a kiss to the corner of that sweet smile before he shook the thought from his head, yanking his hand away from Barba's.

He felt sick again. He'd definitely had too much to drink, and he was letting his thoughts get away from him before he could catch them. He was aware of Barba's hand reaching across the divide between them for a moment before dropping back down to the leather in defeat, and he could feel his hands tremble with the effort it took to not reach back.

As they pulled up, Barba's eyes fluttered open again and he sighed, expression tight as he glanced at Sonny. He felt a pang of guilt, hoping he wasn't the one to remove the pleasant buzz Barba had surely been feeling before.

"Come up for a nightcap?" Barba suggested as he opened the car door, pausing with one leg out.

Sonny stared at him, unable to say or do anything. He wanted to say yes, but he knew he should say no. He wanted to be alone with Barba, but he knew that if he was, with the amount of alcohol he had consumed, his mind would run away with him and he may say something he'd later regret. He wanted to say yes, to have company, to block out the images constantly trying to force their way back inside his head, because if he wasn't going to get any sleep again (and let's face it, he knew he wasn't), then he might as well be doing something more pleasant with that time. But he knew he should say no, he should go home and rest, he shouldn't be around someone he had such strong feelings for when he was feeling so low and he knew that person didn't feel the same way.

"Sonny?"

Sonny's eyes shot up to Barba in surprise, who had now sat back inside the car completely, his head lolling back against the car seat, rolled to the side so he could make eye contact. Barba, who just used his preferred nickname for the first time in the three years they had known each other. Barba, who had invited him up to his apartment, who could sing amazingly well yet kept it hidden, who was full of sass and snark and yet had a world of softness underneath, waiting to be uncovered.

Sonny swallowed hard, fidgeting with the seatbelt, unable to come to a decision. He suddenly felt like crying, which was utterly ridiculous. Something must have shown on his face, because Barba's hands reached out for his own, stilling his movements, before undoing his seatbelt for him.

"You've had a rough few weeks. Come," Barba all but whispered, his hand taking Sonny's as he slid out of the car, nearly toppling back into it as he stood.

Barba giggled - and if someone had described it to Sonny that way, he wouldn't have believed it, and yet that's exactly what he heard - and threaded his fingers between Sonny's, causing his heart to flutter up to his throat. Barba bit his lip, looking at him with an expression so serious that he couldn't help but laugh. Barba's face relaxed instantly into a loose smile, and he lead Sonny into the building and up the lift to his floor.

Once outside the door, Barba fumbled with his keys, sighing in exasperation when he couldn't seem to get it to fit in the lock.

"Here," Sonny said softly, taking the keys from Barba's hand and unlocking the door.

Barba lead him in, then pushed him up against the door the moment it was closed, pressing a wet kiss to his lips.

Sonny froze completely, the keys that were in his hand clanging on the hardwood floor. His brain went blessedly silent, and all he could hear was a faint ringing in his ears, but he couldn't will himself to move. Then, just as quickly as they'd been on him, those too wet, yet perfect lips were gone, and his body instantly felt cold where Barba had been pressed against him.

"Clearly I misinterpreted," Barba said quietly, taking small steps backwards, looking more sober than he had since his third drink. "Sorry. You can, erm… go, if you like. Or stay, I owe you that drink, but um, really…"

"Wait," Sonny interrupted, trying to push past the shock of Barba's lips, Barba's body, Barba's inability to string a coherent sentence together, the blush creeping its way up Barba's neck, the pure embarrassment in Barba's eyes, to put together some string of words to make the other man relax. "That was…"

"Unprofessional, I know."

"I was gonna say amazing, but probably unprofessional, too," Sonny said quietly, eyes dropping to the floor for a moment before he forced himself to make eye contact.

Barba was gaping at him, as though he wasn't sure he heard properly. But there was something else on his face, something Sonny couldn't quite read, and it made his stomach twist anxiously.

"Look, you've had a lot to drink. It's late. I know you didn't mean to do that, it was just a 'moment' thing, whatever, I get it. So…"

"Sonny," the second use of his name didn't go unnoticed, and it definitely shut him up. "Come here."

Sonny didn't move, his back still pressed up against the door.

"If you don't want to kiss me again, I understand," Barba said quietly, slowly closing the gap between them. "But you can't tell me you didn't notice the way I was looking at you tonight."

"I thought I was imagining that," Sonny whispered, causing Rafael to laugh as he closed the gap between them completely.

"I'm going to kiss you again, now, if that's okay?"

Instead of answering, Sonny leant in, pressing his lips to Barba's, humming softly into his mouth. When they broke apart, he sighed, resting their foreheads together, eyes closed.

"Come to bed?" Barba whispered against his lips, and Sonny stilled, his body tensing slightly.

Barba ran his fingers gently up and down Sonny's side, tugging lightly at the material of his shirt.

"I just want to hold you," he whispred, "you looked so sad tonight. Let me soften the edges."

Sonny felt his lip tremble slightly at the sincerity of Barba's words, and he nodded, allowing himself to be lead through to Barba's bedroom.

Exhaustion washed over him as he sat on the bed, and he allowed Barba to remove his clothing, barely responding as he was pushed back onto the bed and dragged under the covers.

As Barba wrapped his limbs around him, he felt himself relax for the first time in weeks, images of all of Barba soft looks playing around his mind.

"How long?" He whispered against Barba's hair, tracing gentle circles on his back as the tension left his body.

"Hmm?" Barba responded sleepily, nuzzling against Sonny's chest.

"How long?" He repeated, unable to better put into words - how long have you wanted to kiss me? To hold me? How long have you felt that way?

"About a year," he responded after a while, deducing the rest of the question.

Sonny laughed softly, pressing a kiss into Barba's hair. He hadn't been imagining things at all.

"Happy birthday," he whispered, earning a half-asleep hum in response.

For the first time in weeks, Sonny slept soundly, the warmth of Barba's embrace keeping the darkness at bay.


End file.
